Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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