if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
