let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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