HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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