I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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