It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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