I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
