You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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