worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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