He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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