How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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