And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
