He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
its liver damage thursday
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
