Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
