What a fucking waste of an outfit
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
