I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
