i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
