finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We smell like vodka and hangover
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