I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
