I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
