i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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