okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
