why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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