My room smells like vodka and shame
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
did you just send me my own nude
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
