your thong is hanging out like whoa
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have already put on my inside pants.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
