your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We talked him into tasing himself.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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