Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
