It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
