Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
