Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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