no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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