im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
