Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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