Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
