Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
