I cockslap morals
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
