i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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