We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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