Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
