How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
