oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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