I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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