Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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