I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
