hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
