Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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