you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
cat food counts as protein by the way
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
