We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I want you more than these girls want KFC
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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