So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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