WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
