I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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